Car Torque ... with host of Storage Hunters, Sean Kelly

What was your first car?

IN Germany, where I was living as a teenager, the legal driving age was 18, but I figured a way to work around it. I was 16 and I went back to US and got myself a US driver’s licence. I came back and exchanged that for an international driver’s licence which allowed me to drive in Germany at 16.

Of all my friends, I was the only one for the first two years that had a car. It was when I first really started to learn how to barter and trade. There was a GI who was about to move back to the States who was stationed in Germany and I bought his old pick-up truck from him. He had an old Ford F150 and I bought that for like $200.

I traded that for a Ford Ranger and then I ended up trading that for a Karmann Ghia. I traded that for a 3-Series Beemer from a real old lady who had kept it in a garage and couldn’t drive anymore. She wanted to get the Karmann Ghia for her granddaughter so I wound up with a Beemer that only had 5,000km on the clock.

By that time I was 17, living on my own for a year, I had gone through all these cars and was driving around in a pristine Beemer. I was living the life, it was awesome.

How many times did it take to pass your test?

I PASSED first go in the US. I wanted it so bad. It’s the only time in my life when I have studied for a test.

In school I would never study. But I studied hard for that one. I took it in Sacramento, California because my family is from northern California. I flew home from Germany one summer when I was 16 and I took it.

I decided I wanted to get a motorcycle licence at the same time. That was the most nerve-wracking part because I had never really ridden a motorcycle.

My uncle let me practice on his, but the problem was he had huge Suzuki 750cc – a big, giant road bike. I could barely keep the thing balanced and that’s what I took my test on.

Who would be your ideal fantasy passenger?

I WOULD take Johnny Vegas because he is a huge fan of Storage Hunters. He loves hunting for a bargain. Johnny and I would go back to America and I would get a Harley-Davidson with a sidecar.

I’d put Johnny in the sidecar and we would cruise around the southern States. We would go down to like Arkansas and Louisiana, Alabama and go bargain-hunting together and trust me we would laugh so much. We would come back and we would each have a brand new one-hour comedy special.

What is your dream car?

BECAUSE I grew up in Germany and was on the autobahn a lot I would see a lot of Porsches racing by so it has to be one of those. A roadster or something like that.

How would you describe your driving style?

AGGRESSIVE. Unfortunately, because I grew up in Germany and am used to the autobahns and driving very fast, I can be very aggressive. I have got so many tickets.

Thank God that I became famous because the police all watch my show and love it. I have gotten off with so many warnings.

I don’t own a car in the UK but I rented a 5-Series last year when I did a comedy tour. I was on the road for 40 days and in those 40 days I got seven tickets – speeding, traffic lights, tickets through tunnels...

Tell me one driving anecdote from your past?

I HAD always wanted a Porsche and I knew my wife would never go for that because of how expensive they are. We have began together for 24 years and started off really broke so when it comes to big financial decisions we usually make them together. But I knew she would not be okay with me buying a Porsche, so I bought a brand new 911 without telling her.

I paid cash for it after getting a big bonus for having an amazing sales year. I drove up on the driveway in this black convertible 911 and my wife was like ‘please tell me this is a rental car?’ I said ‘No, I bought it’ and she was like ‘What??!! Are you having a midlife crisis?’ But when I drove that car I felt like I was 16-years-old again. It was amazing.

If I am going to have a change of career I am going to go and sell Porsches. When the salesman took me out in it he said ‘you see that big, giant curve up there?’ I said ‘yeah’ and he said ‘when we get into the curve I don’t want you to brake, I want you to accelerate’.

I accelerated into the turn and the car just hugged it and I whipped around that corner. He knew that look in my and must have thought to himself ‘Yup, just sold another one’.

What are you listening to?

IT depends on my mood. If I am feeling aggressive I will listen to AC/DC, but my wife has loaded up my iPod with tunes to calm me down - so she has got Sade on there and Andrea Bocelli. For years I have been listening to Andre Bocelli in the car to relax me and calm me down while I am driving. Three weeks ago I got to see him live in Glasgow.

What do you drive now?

I HAVE got rid of most of my cars and am down to three. I have got a Chevrolet Volt because my wife is all about the environment. She used to have the Prius but we found there were problems with the batteries.

I have a four-door 5-Series BMW which we can all jump in together and then if I am just by myself I am in the convertible Mercedes two-seater, top down, California 330 days of sunshine, just enjoying it.