What was your first car?
My first car was a Fiat Panda "Dance". Vinnie Jones once shunted it - with me in it - out of Wimbledon's training ground car park with his Land Rover. My sister lent it to me when she went to live abroad. I ruined it. We still don't talk about it.
How many times did it take to pass your test?
I was a first-time triumph. But then again I was 27. I can't remember who taught me, nor what he taught me in, nor what he taught me.
Who would be your ideal fantasy passenger and where would you go?
My ideal passenger would offer to drive. Then I'd get in the passenger seat and ask to be dropped off at the train station. See where I'm going with this?
What is your dream car?
I dream of a world without cars.
How would you describe your driving style?
Miss Marple. Bolt upright. Bifocal.
Tell me one driving anecdote from your past?
What? The Vinnie Jones story wasn't good enough? OK, then. I won the use of a Ferrari Spider for a weekend. It happened to be during the Fuel Strike in 2000. As my wife was a nurse, and therefore got priority rationing at the pumps, I used her uniformed presence to lurch from petrol station to another, burning £10 of petrol just getting to the next one.
What are you listening to?
The sound of my brakes squeaking.
What do you drive now?
A 13-year-old Renault which cost £11,000 new. I have no idea why.
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