FAYRE’S FAIR
If you went into a butchers shop
For a pound of meat
And he served you fourteen ounces
You would say, “That’s not reet.”
If you went into a bakers
For a loaf of bread
And he took out the top four slices
You’d say, “Can I have a uncut cob
instead.”
If you asked your local milkman
For a pint of his best full fat
And he syphoned off the lovely cream
You’d say, “I don’t want that.”
So why, when I go into a public house
For a pint of beer
And ask to have my glass topped up
I’m looked at rather queer
All I want is twenty fluid ounces
But I’m given seventeen. Alas!
All I ask for is a full pint
In a bigger glass
Is it any wonder
Pubs are closing by the score
The price goes up and measures down
We can’t take this any more
So come on drinkers everywhere
Let’s have a bigger glass campaign
Then we’ll not feel so cheated
And pubs just might be full again.
Dennis Parkinson, Trimdon

POETIC JUSTICE
There is a scourge among us
Pervades our society
It seems to rise with passing time
Increases exponentially
It’s a threat to our young ones
Our vulnerable fraternity
Is spoken of in whispered voice
Among convivial company.
It’s said tolerance is a virtue
To forgive and to forget
Yet this surpasses all liberal views
Should be punished without regret.
An unthinkable situation
Whereby offenders are given the
defence
That they’re the victim of some sickness
That warrants recompense.
Whilst I question what may be the cause
Of this twisted sexuality
– Perhaps a sign I’m getting old
I’ve lost objectivity –
I cannot extend to these offenders
One ounce of sympathy.
The law must not de-regulate
As it has at other times
It should always be remembered
These are not victimless crimes.
We must alienate the offender
Afford them no defence
Issue a long custodial sentence
Retain our childrens’ innocence.
C R Lee, Chilton

D DAY
They landed from ship and sky
Not stopping to wonder why
Nowhere around was there cover
Too many died along with brother
Fighting their way off the beaches
Some lived on to other reaches
Fighting through field and lane
To witness horror and too much pain
On they fought to screams of wounded
Still German guns just pounded
Machine gun bullets sounded
On the British and allies fought
It was the longest day they did report.
Allan Teddy Cooper, Darlington