RECENT events in the news have prompted me to ask the question this week – what is the daftest thing you have done at university?

I was only there for a total of two years, and I didn’t even get a degree. But what I lacked in academic application, I made up for in living the student life. And while I never took part in any initiation ceremonies into secret clubs, I certainly went the whole hog when it came to living life to the full. I spent my entire life as a student doing daft things.

For those who haven’t been to university, students will come across as an obnoxious bunch of entitled halfwits, spending their parents’ money while marching around drunk with a traffic cone on their heads, calling everyone a “legend” and living for the “banter”.

If you think that, you’re absolutely spot on. For me, however, it wasn’t my parents’ money I was spending, it was student loan and overdraft. Every penny of which, I learned later, I had to pay back.

When I registered for university, my first day comprised of queuing for my photo ID for the National Union of Students, entitling me to discount beer in the union bar, and 10% off in most of the shops on the high street. The next queue I joined was to collect my student loan cheque. Just over £1,500.

I took that to the bank, who informed me that my student account had a £1,500 interest-free overdraft.

That sequence of events, for an 18-year-old living away from his parents for the first time, was like a red rag to a bull.

The rest of September, and 2001, was a blur. By the end of term, I had managed to spend the lot. I had also neglected to pay any rent in my student accommodation, so I spent the duration of what should have been my second year working in a call centre to pay my debts in order for me to return to my studies.

But that year, where financial irresponsibility seemed to be encouraged – a credit card company rocked up in the first week to hand out credit accounts to students with the free gift of a top-quality water pistol – was one of the greatest of my life.

Half of our halls of residence signed up for a credit card that day, which led to the best water fight I have ever taken part in. The whole site became a war zone. I turned my Volkswagen Polo into an assault vehicle, with all four of us armed with high-power water pistols, picking off people at will while driving around the campus.

I definitely lived up to the stereotype. My room in the hall of residence was complete with a traffic cone. I also nabbed a large sign that read “DANGER, DEEP EXCAVATIONS” – for the ‘banter’ obviously. I failed to consider how many drunk students fell into the hole that the sign was once located next to.

Would I do any of that now? Of course not. When you’re 18 years old, actions don’t have consequences. It’s all about the spur of the moment. The teenaged version of me would despise what I have become, but had I not done that then, I wouldn’t be the same person now.

LIKE Volkswagen, I have been lying about my emissions for years.

I’ve always blamed the dog.