I KNOW we’re not alone when we play these daft games occasionally, usually at home or at a friend’s house, late in the evening after the food and a few bottles of wine have been consumed.

What are the eight essential records you take to a desert island? Out of all the people in the world’s history, who would you most like to spend an evening with? Yes, we go to some wild dinner parties.

And then we went through a phase where, at the end of a meal, my wife would announce that we were all going to say what we most liked about our partner. So, in turn, each one around the table would announce to the other diners, in really slushy lovey-dovey terms, that “I love the way he always brings me flowers when he goes shopping” or “I love the way she looks at me when she’s had a glass of wine or two” and so on. Knowing what was coming I’d always get a couple of easy ones ready, so that I didn’t have to think too much. I could then watch the drama.

After everybody had had their say and there was now a romantic warm feeling settled about the table, my wife would then announce that we were now all going to say what we liked least about our partners. You’d see the blood drain from people’s faces, terror appear in the eyes of some, others visibly begin to slide under the table as if seeking a hiding place. But this was being managed by my wife – and there was no place to hide.

With a stutter the first would announce: “I don’t like the way she snores.” “How dare you tell them that”, she’d shout, “so I’ll tell them about how you pick your nose” and so on it went. After baring their soul about the nice things, people can’t stop being honest. It’s that, as well as the wine, and the fact that everybody’s frightened of my wife.

Of course this all happened some time ago and we don’t play it any more. We were rapidly running out of friends and those that stuck with us knew the format and cheated and lied like I did.

The games are a little less edgy now and a recent round-table discussion was based on what’s the most memorable meal you’ve ever had. It was easy for me. Well, I thought it was because I’ve got at least six best meals in the history of the universe, ever. But there’s the problem. They were all brilliant and probably reflected the moment in time.

Like the first proper king prawns I’d ever tasted being grilled on a rudimentary cooker in Maputo in Mozambique. As large as lobsters and dripping with butter, there is no better food, anywhere. Or the first time I went to a Michelin-starred restaurant and couldn’t believe the attention to detail on my plate, asking if I could look in the kitchen and being astounded by the number of bodies in there for so few diners.

I guess somewhere at the top of the list must be a meal we had in Penang in Malaysia where we sat outside on rough metal chairs at rough metal tables and the only lighting was by fairy lights so we hadn’t a clue about our general environment. We went back in the morning to see it in daylight and it was just a patch of rough earth alongside a fish dock with all the rubbish of the working day floating in the water. The evening before we couldn’t see that and were in awe of this enormous Malaysian waiter who came up and, in a gruff voice, asked: “What do you want?” “May we have a menu please”, I asked. “No menu, what do you want?”

We pointed at the next table where two people seemed to be happy. So bottles of local beer arrived to wash down the contents of various stainless steel mixing bowls: spider crab cooked with chilli or pepper and other exotic tastes. Being well brought up, my wife doesn’t drink straight from the bottle, but she did that night because there weren’t any glasses. It was the messiest meal I’ve ever eaten, but probably the best.

In the restaurant, it’s satisfying when someone tells you that their meal was the best they’ve ever had.

We can’t expect it every time – there has to be a limit to this sort of thing – but we hear it frequently and, apart from making a profit and staying in business, it’s one of the most satisfying things and one that really makes the job worth doing.

Hopefully the memory will stay with those customers for as long as similar ones have with me. And they forget about all those nasty things they hate so much about their partner.