RUBY may only be a babe in arms, but she’s already led a full and busy life. Her mum is violent, her dad’s physically abused by her mum and Ruby now adds a Soapland experience that no child should miss – kidnap.

And when it’s by your abusive grandfather, you gain even more kudos among locals in Coronation Street (ITV1).

Kirsty, the violent ex-policewoman who treats partner Tyrone like a punchbag, isn’t relaxed being a new mother. When baby Ruby won’t stop crying, she sees red and clears the table of crockery with one swoop.

Tyrone, arriving home after a hard day’s work, finds the floor littered with broken plates and fears the worse – Kirsty’s trying to get out of the washing up yet again. And, of course, he worries for Ruby’s safety. His concerns about Kirsty’s mental state aren’t helped on learning that she’s missed her anger management counselling sessions.

Tyrone is very angry indeed, although not as angry as Kirsty. Or Kirsty’s dad, Ed the Edbanger. He’s furious that his wife, Alison, has left him and demands she returns home at once. When she refuses he does what any grandfather would do – he takes Ruby from her pram and does a runner.

Considering his long and varied love life, it’s little surprise that an old flame of Ken Barlow’s turns up in Weatherfield. This time it’s Mrs Papadopoulus. You may not recognise the name but the face will be familiar (if a little older than the last time you saw her). Mrs P is none other than Wendy Crozer, with whom he had an affair some years ago. Now they’re fighting over a position, one neither has tried before. And as we know, Ken has tried quite a few in his love life.

They’re both in line for the post of chairman of the Bessie Street School governors. As vice-chairwoman Mrs P reckons she’s in line for the post, but others want Ken to take the chair. With a bit of lucy, Ken will give Wendy six of the best.

We all know that girls just want to have fun and who can begrudge Roxy having some? In EastEnders (BBC1) she pairs up with Masood’s relative AJ. For there’s nothing that Roxy likes more than a man who can make her laugh. AJ has only to drop his trousers and she laughs like a drain at what she sees.

Alcohol is involved in their liaison. After an afternoon on the bottle at R&R the flirty pair are at it like rabbits.

In Emmerdale (ITV1) Laurel finally moves in with Marlon. Knowing how unlucky in love he is – a chimney fell on a previous girlfriend – she’s been reluctant to commit so soon after her marriage to defrocked vicar the ex-Rev Ashley.

Not everyone is pleased that the pair are under the same roof. Laurel’s stepdaughter Gabby disapproves and Marlon’s housemates, Sandy and Lizzie, are none too pleased either. Well, it must be a bit crowded and the fight for the bathroom in the morning will be horrendous.