IT’S one of Soapland’s great love stories.

Boy meets girl. Boy marries girl. Boy betrays girl. Girl buries boy alive. Boy and girl get back together again.

Now Max and Tanya are at it again in EastEnders (BBC1). They’re putting the M in BMD. Max has a secret – something that happened when he was in Manchester – but doesn’t intend to stop that getting in the way of marrying Tanya again despite that time she put him in a coffin and shut the lid.

He thought they were re-enacting a scene from Dracula, but she was deadly serious.

They’ve put that behind them (although his preference for sleeping in a coffin rather than a bed does hamper their sex life) and a second wedding is in the offing.

Max surprises the bride-to-be by telling her he’s booked a day for their wedding. But is deciding to tie the knot on Christmas Eve the best date? Things tend to go pear-shaped in Soapland at that time of year, so everyone outside having a bad Christmas can console themselves with the fact that someone in Soapland is having an even worse time.

I hope Max doesn’t end up in a tray in the oven being basted by Tanya after she’s put chestnut stuffing where the sun doesn’t shine.

At least Sharon, on a mission to sort out the men of Walford, doesn’t have to worry about Max. She’s more concerned with helping Fill the Fug and helping herself to I’m All Right Jack. He’ll be feeling even more all right after Sharon has got her hands on him.

If you recall, they shared a night of passion not long after she returned to Walford. Now she’s getting romantic with him, but he says steady on, luv, let’s take it easy. A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do, but Jack wants to do it later. Glorious Gloria in Coronation Street (ITV1) wants to do it now. While daughter Stella is away she makes all sorts of changes at the Rovers in a bid to win the pub of the year competition.

She’s run a beach bar in the Costas and thinks she knows it all. But it ends up more like a bitch bar. She turns the place into a B&B and goes behind the bar herself, which only serves to annoy some regular drinkers.

It’s that umbrella she puts in pints of Newton and Ridley that annoys them.

Gennie is pregnant in Emmerdale (ITV1) and, to be honest, she’s not enjoying it. She recalls that her mother died in childbirth and then her father gave her away. Not a great start in life, is it?

Now, partner Nikhil is putting her through baby boot camp so they know what to expect.

He gets a learning aid baby to practise on, which only freaks her out even more.