Stars: Stars: Johnny Depp, Penelope Cruz, Geoffrey Rush, Ian McShane, Sam Claflin, Astrid Berges-Frisbey, Kevin R McNally
Running time: 136 mins
Rating: ***
THE reason for the fourth entry in the Pirates Of The Caribbean franchise is commercial rather than artistic as the law of diminishing returns has seen the series grow weaker as it progressed to the dreadful Pirates 3.
A worldwide box-office take of $2.6 billion meant the makers couldn’t let it lie. Besides, Johnny Depp’s eccentric Captain Jack Sparrow has taken on a life of his own and become a cult figure.
But enough of this dwelling on the past. Pirates Of The Caribbean 4 is with us and in 3D too – not as an afterthought with a post-production conversion but actually shot in 3D, – although I can’t say it adds anything, apart from a couple of quid on the tickets for the glasses.
There are hints the makers realised that Pirates 3, shot back-to-back with Pirates 2, wasn’t up to scratch with talk in the production notes of coming up with something fresh and returning to the spirit of the original for episode four.
Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom are both absent – their stories having been concluded in the third episode – and no jokes about the planks walking, please.
New director Rob Marshall, who made good with the Oscar-winning Chicago, brings his skills as a Broadway choreographer to bear on the sword fights and action sequences.
The scriptwriters have also abandoned the over-burdened plots of previous pirate voyages.
The adventure begins on land in London with Depp’s ever-playful Captain Jack escaping the hangman, meeting King George (Richard Griffiths) and puzzled to discover someone posing as him is recruiting crew for a voyage.
He finds himself fighting himself, or the person pretending to be him, and ends up planting a big kiss of the lips of… well, the fake Captain Jack is really a she, Angelica (Penelope Cruz) who just so happens to be an old flame of his and, he now learns, the daughter of infamous pirate Blackbeard (Ian McShane).
Before you can say raise the mainsail, the adventure has begun. Jack’s old adversary/partner (depending which way the wind is blowing) Captain Barbossa re-appears, minus a leg and yoho- hoing in true Long John Silver mode.
They’re all seeking the Fountain of Youth which involves finding two chalices and mixing a cocktail of fountain water and a mermaid’s tear.
Happily the pirate band encounter a load of mermaids – or not so happily as it emerges they are murderous little blighters despite their sexy mermaid forms.
So there we have it. Quite a lot of it – 136 minutes, to be precise. And while there are plenty of good things about it, it never really catches fire like a rollicking adventure romp should. There are too many plot twists we’ve seen before.
Depp once more channels the spirit of Rolling Stone Keith Richards (back for another cameo as Captain Jack’s dad) into Captain Jack Sparrow.
Cruz looks great, swashes a mean buckle and proves a worthy sparring partner for Depp’s pirate captain. As Blackbeard, McShane delivers a smashing display of brazen lipsmacking, scenery-chewing villainy.
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