FILL the Fug is floored in EastEnders (BBC1). Flipping ‘eck. There’s the hard man in an agonised heap on the floor in R&R, clutching his chest.

He’s having a heart attack – and, unfortunately for him, needs arch enemy Ian Beale to help him.

There is, inevitably, a woman involved.

Glenda Mitchell who has been sleeping with both men. In fact, Fill is f...fooling around with Glenda in the club when he collapses. Glenda, being a woman of the world, recognises this isn’t passion but a heart attack.

Then Ian walks in. He doesn’t fancy a threesome (this being before the watershed) and tells Glenda he’ll take care of everything because it wouldn’t be good for her to be caught in Fill’s company. Little does she know what devious plan Ian has in mind for Fill, who’s been blackmailing him over his affair with Glenda.

With Fill helpless on the floor, Ian sees the ideal opportunity to get on top – not of Fill but the situation, which has seen Ian blackmailing someone else to raise the money to pay off Fill. Rather than get him medical attention, Ian enjoys seeing his rival in pain and makes it worse by locking him in the office and doing a runner.

Fiz in Coronation Street (ITV1) doesn’t know she’s married to a killer. She just thinks John Stape is going off his head. She’s only just noticed what with having a premature baby and that tram demolishing half the street. She’s been pre-occupied but now notices that John is behaving strangely.

She’s horrified when she finds him cowering in the kitchen, mainly because there’s a lot of washing up to be done.

He’s rambling about Joy, that’s Joy with a capital J, as in Joy Fishwick, the mother of the man whose identity he stole. He stood by while she had an angina attack (Fill, take note) and is now distraught.

But not as distraught as Joy is because she’s dead.

Soapland police are out and about in Emmerdale (ITV1), arresting Carl King.

Not before time, you might think, as a couple of Christmases ago he defenestrated his father Tom, the king of Kings.

But he’s taken in by the police over what the Soapland Echo calls a “killer blaze” which claimed the lives of several residents. Chas is convinced Carl started the fire after she jilted him at the altar (for being a two-timing love rat – so she had just cause). The irony is that he’s arrested by DS Henshall, who started the blaze himself and is keen to frame someone for the crime.

Another Dingle – Cain – isn’t happy either after spotting fiancee Charity cosying up to business partner Jai Sharma.

So he trashes the barn they’re working on, a pretty childish thing to do even by Cain’s low standards.

Jai is swiftly on the phone to the soap police after seeing thousands of pounds of damage has been done. But he doesn’t grass on Cain, aiming to get closer to Charity and annoy her fiance even more.