THIS splendid and intermittently hilarious book is a spoof celebrity memoir by Twitter sensation “Cheryl Kerl”, inspired by the life of a certain well-known Newcastle showbiz superstar.

The book, which is written in pretty impenetrable dialect if you don’t speak Geordie, presents her “thoughts” on everything from fame to fine art. In fact, the book is so full of gems every line begs to be read out aloud, if you can find a native speaker to do the honours.

According to the publisher’s blurb, the superstar was born Cheryl Tweety and got her big break at 18 when she won a place in a talent show band called Girls Are Loud.

Cheryl says: “Tuh think thar Ah’m ganna be joining the ranks a the literaree greats leik Shakespeeah, Dickins and Joadun is berth humbling and tertally mint at the same teim, pet.”

Helpfully, the book is published with a glossary to help those not born on the banks of the Tyne.

The real mystery is the identity of the “author”. The publisher won’t say, but maybe Ant and Dec are doing a bit of hack work on the side.

They probably need the money.