Stars: Jennifer Lopez, Alex O’Loughlin, Eric Christian Olsen, Noureen DeWulf, Michaela Watkins, Anthony Anderson

104 mins

★★

AFTER a four-year absence from the screen – has anyone missed her? – Jennifer Lopez returns in a rom com short on both rom and com.

She’s a pet shop owner who, after five years of dating, still hasn’t found Mr Right. She reverts to her back-up plan – children without marriage and with an unknown donor.

%movie(21686)

Wouldn’t you know it? On the day she has her first IVF treatment, she goes and bumps into Mr Right – cheese-maker Stan. Friends have warned her that (a) raising kids is hard work and (b) donor CRM1014 might give her a child with red hair and freckles.

Cheesey Stan persists in his pursuit of Zoe and his dream of opening a sustainable gourmet shop. But will he remain hot to trot with Zoe once he discovers she’s up the duff?

It says something for The Back- Up Plan that, although I was watching in the cinema, after 15 minutes I automatically reached for the fast forward button. But I’m not the intended audience.

This is ideal for women wanting to relieve their pregnancy or like cute dogs with walking difficulties.

Lopez gets to make a few jokes about her bottom (rather than let other people make them), while McLoughlin gamely participates in embarrassing outbreaks of physical comedy and displays his chest for the ladies.