IT must be said that David Platt hasn’t really got a lot going for him. As Coronation Street’s (ITV) latest resident nutter, young David hasn’t been blessed in either the looks or personality department – at least he’s scaled back on the fake tan, so he’s now just tangerine-coloured instead of full on mahogany – and is sly, devious, and downright unlikeable to boot.
It’s been about a week since he last went completely mad about something, which is good going for David, so it was only a matter of time until he kicked off again.
This time, it’s his discovery that Tina is now hooked up with Jason.
He handles it pretty well by David standards, and chucks a few hammers, crowbars and spanners on his love rival from the balcony in the garage, making Jason the latest in a series of people to have near-death encounters thanks to David – his own mother and grandfather being others.
Chances are this encounter between David and Jason will be enough to reignite the Platt/Grimshaw feud, which famously saw Gail and Eileen brawling in the street, and spawned the immortal “Where’s the rest of the Village People” line from Gail. Bring on Round 2 – can’t wait.
Heading south, and we’ve got an unwanted guest returning to EastEnders (BBC). The list of possibilities is admittedly quite long, but this time, the ‘Allegedly popular character coming back for a second go’ award goes to Archie Mitchell, Peggy’s husband of all of two minutes, who Phil was going to kill off, but then didn’t, but might this time, but probably won’t. Although Archie has burned his bridges with Ronnie, having lied to her about the fact her daughter was a) alive and b) living in Albert Square, Roxy isn’t ready to kick her dad into touch just yet. Peggy admittedly goes a bit mad when she sees her hubby return, and tells him and his daughter, in the way only she can, to “Get aaaahta my pub!” she relents a bit later and said she’ll meet Archie, but only on her terms. Will she take him back? Not sure about that one, but he was never going to be leaving Walford for good – like a collection of bad pennies, they all come back.
And speaking of the Mitchells, big Phil is being a dirty dog again, and this time is cheating on his mate and employee Garry by having a bit on the side with his girlfriend, Dawn. I don’t know what Phil has got, it certainly isn’t looks (I was going to say he lost them years ago, but did he ever have them in the first place?) but he’s had pretty much every female non-Mitchell in Albert Square - though he even broke that rule with Sharon. Phil and Dawn nearly get caught in the act when, in the quest to be a better boyfriend, Garry, bless him, comes home early to surprise Dawn. He doesn’t find out this time, but, out of shame, Dawn flees to her mum’s without saying a word. Poor Gal is devastated – probably better than him knowing the truth though.
He’d definitely come off worst if he tried to take on Phil in a fight.
And in Emmerdale (ITV), Natasha is still finding the revelation about her husband Mark’s – or should that be Daniel’s – secret double life a bit hard to cope with. Understandable, that, seeing as she’s been married for over 20 years and didn’t know he had another wife and son. Still reeling from the discovery, but eager to protect their children, Natasha has a show-down with her rival, Faye, and tells her to sling her hook. Faye tries to refuse, but Natasha threatens to spill the beans about her claiming insurance money on the supposedly-dead Daniel, and gives her a nice little pay-off. Faye disappears – but for how long? I think the bad penny syndrome could well strike again.
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