PETER BARLOW goes to church on Easter Sunday. The less charitable among you may think that he’s got a sniff of the communion wine and reckons this is a smart way to get hold of a drop of the hard stuff.

For Pete’s sake, I hope he doesn’t touch a drop and slip off the wagon in Coronation Street (ITV1). Actually, he’s not clutching a bottle in the pews, but a rabbit hutch. Inside is Leanne – no, not the one that used to be an escort girl, but son Simon’s pet rabbit.

Peter and the Barlow clan, including dreary Deirdre and her moaning minnie of a mother, Blanche, attend the Easter service where the rabbit will be blessed and then baked in a pie. Only joking about that last bit (although when Peter’s had one too many, I fear for the bunny’s life).

Ken, not feeling himself or that woman on the barge since he told her he was married, mocks their Christian beliefs and tries to teach Simon the theory of humanism when all the poor child wants is the latest Thomas the Tank Engine story.

Ken still has his mind on Martha. When he hears a radio advert for a play in which she’s performing, he wants to exit stage right from the Rovers and go to her. Ted tells him it’s a bad idea, but will Ken’s surging sexual passions get the better of him? Or will he settle for a cup of cocoa and digestive biscuit?

Peter may be sober but a Weatherfield returnee certainly isn’t. Teresa Morton fetches up on the cobbles to wish son Darryl a happy birthday. Okay, so she’s got the date wrong and is roaring drunk, but she’s his mother after all. Darryl tries to put her on a bus out of town, but she storms the kebab shop and demands money.

Parents can be so embarrassing sometimes, can’t they?

Truant Chesney’s behaviour isn’t about to improve after he learns that sister Fiz has been secretly meeting her jailed exboyfriend John. He used to be a teacher (before he bedded one of his pupils) and Fiz reckons he might be just the person to home school Chesney, although some wouldn’t see the jailbird as much of a role model.

Life in Weatherfield is like a Doris Day movie compared to all the woes and weeping in EastEnders (BBC1), as Ronnie Mitchell says goodbye to dead daughter Danielle. Or tries too.

Her daughter’s adoptive family don't want anything to do with Ronnie, who gave her away as a baby.

While Ronnie’s wailing, Fill the Fug is back on the bottle.

What with him and Peter Barlow and Theresa, meetings of Soapland’s Alcoholics Anonymous are going to be crowded.

The Mitchell brother is back on the booze after falling out with his mum, pint-sized Peggy, and he turns to an old friend – the demon drink. Another chum, Shirley, helps him get reaquainted with the sauce because that way she can get close to him again.

More Wylde news from Emmerdale (ITV1) as lord of the manor Mark Wylde encounters the mysterious redhead Faye Lamb.

She’s been hanging around Home Farm threatening to destroy him for the past few weeks, which is no way to conduct a relationship.

Their latest confrontation ends with her giving him a smack across the face. She found him through an article in Horse And Hound and demands to know why he disappeared from her life.

The news that Daz hears is a shock for the lad who's not as squeaky clean as his name suggests. Teenage girlfriend Victoria announces that she’s pregnant. Her timing is bad as Daz is about to leave on a romantic trip with girlfriend Scarlett. It’s enough to drive him to drink.