WHAT'S cooking is a so-so American remake of a 2001 European feature Bella Martha (Mostly Martha) that simmers away without ever coming to the boil. It's more Pot Noodle than cordon bleu.

Catherine Zeta-Jones is workaholic chef Kate, who demands perfection in the kitchen at a top New York eatery which leaves no time for a private life. All that changes when her sister is killed in a car accident, leaving her nine-year-old daughter Zoe (Abigail Breslin, Oscarnominated for Little Miss Sunshine last year) in Kate's care.

While Kate's away, long-suffering restaurant owner Paula (Patricia Clarkson) brings in an opera-loving souschef Nick (Eckhart, looking suitably embarrassed at participating in such tosh) to help out in the kitchen.

When she returns and finds her domain has been invaded by a brash new chef, Kate gets as red and angry as one of those lobsters she gaily tosses into boiling water. I don't need to tell you, because you'll have already guessed having seen this story umpteen times before, that the pair spar and bicker before falling into each other's arms.

Unfortunately, it's doesn't happen as quickly as it's taken you to read that. The situation drags on and on despite the audience knowing it's not so much will they, won't they as when will they?

Director Scott Hicks made the excellent Shine, the Oscar-nominated story of troubled pianist David Helfgott, but that doesn't excuse his soft focus approach to this romantic nonsense. It's also difficult to warm to a pair who are selfish and unsympathetic (Kate) and cocky and obnoxious and sing opera (Nick). No wonder young Abigail steals the acting honours.

Stars: Catherine Zeta-Jones, Aaron Eckhart, Abigail Breslin, Patricia Clarkson
Running time: 104 mins
Rating: Three stars