MARRIED butcher Ashley Peacock says he feels guilty about bedding Casey and then promptly goes for a repeat performance in Coronation Street (ITV1).

"Please, miss, can I have some more?," he asks the hussy, sleeping with her again after wife Claire announces that she's off to stay with her mother.

She's had enough of Ashley's meat and two veg, not too mention all those bloody aprons she has to wash.

Little does Claire know (because she's dumb) that arch manipulator Casey - or Nut Casey as we call her in Soapland - is obsessed with the squeaky-voiced purveyor of meats and offal. She's planted the thought about leaving Ashley in Claire's mind, where there's a vacant plot the size of an Amazonian rainforest waiting to be cultivated.

Hairdresser Audrey's getting suspicious, but it takes Kevin Webster to finally twig that Ashley's been giving Casey pork under the counter when no-one's looking.

Even if he wants to rid himself of this clinging woman, he'll have a job as she declares that she's in love with him. Demonic David also has a smile on his face, because of Mel next door.

She's older than him but, as we know from his pursuit of Tracey Barlow, that's how he likes his women. Surprisingly, Mel agrees to go to the Rovers for a drink with David. Hasn't she seen The Omen? She'll ended up defenestrated or beheaded if she doesn't look out. All the same, I suspect the only thing David will get out of their date is a cherry and little umbrella in his Ribena Shandy.

The path of true love is proving more like crazy paving for Steve McDonald and barmaid Michelle, especially when she hears about his holiday romance. There's photographic evidence, although not the sort of pictures you're likely to see in OK or Hello as they show Steve getting friendly with Shania, who is revealed as a he not a she.

All very embarrassing, especially when Michelle insists he shares his secret with everyone in the Rovers. Emily will probably think a transvestite is something you wear to keep warm during cold weather, like a stringvestite.

Young love in EastEnders (BBC1) sends chip shop entrepreneur Ian Beale into a right tizzy. His underage daughter Lucy is discovered in a compromising position with young Craig. He's in a state of undress and I doubt she was waxing his chest.

Ian's solution to the problem is to try to buy off Craig. But £300 seems a paltry amount for his daughter's honour. He might at least have thrown in a bag of chips as well.

Sean Slater is locked up, suspected of battering mini market magnet Patrick with something heavy, probably a loaf of stale bread. The Walford PC Plods hunt for evidence, unaware that his girlfriend Carly is in possession of a blood-stained shirt belonging to him. Will she hand it over to police or subject it to the Daz doorstep challenge?

In Emmerdale (ITV1), slapper Kelly lives up to her name - slapper, not Kelly - by giving Carrie a smack round the chops. She delivers the blow after Carrie discovers that daughter Scarlett has been dragged into Kelly's termination fiasco. An argument ensues. "Bad mother," screams Kelly. "Sad slapper," responds Carrie. That's 1-1. It takes Kelly's slap to end the cat fight.

Killer Carl King - he murdered his dad Tom, the king of Kings - is still helping DCI Amazing Grace with her inquiries. You know the police procedure by now. While she takes down his particulars, he gives her a body search.

This has to stop (mainly because she has cold hands) after a copper colleague walks in on the pair of them on the beat, so to speak, and issues them with a caution ("mind where you're putting that").