CARLY Wicks is one of those girls who seems to attract trouble.

Perhaps it's because the grease monkey at the Arches is always covered in oil. Some men find that attractive, although such girls can prove slippery customers in a clinch (and it makes a real mess if you're wearing white trousers).

But Carly's latest woes in EastEnders (BBC1) are all the fault of Chelsea Fox, the girl who sounds like a swinging sixties clothes shop. She's worried that stepsister Carly's way with a wrench could win over newly-returned sleazebag Sean.

So when a sales rep, Warren, arrives to demonstrate his products in Booty (which, as you'll recall is not a shop specialising in car boots but a beauty saloon), Chelsea decides to pair him off with Carly in the hope of taking her mind off Sean. Why she can't just give Carly a good slap and warn her to keep away from her man, I don't know.

Little does Chelsea know what she's letting Carly in for. Warren is not a nice man, despite looking like someone out of Hollyoaks and Casualty.

He tries to spike Carly's drink - and not with tonic water - and take advantage of her by asking for a free service and oil change. Poor Carly ends up having to fight him off. Preeti Please could have warned her. She went out with him the night before and has the bruises to show for it.

There's more trouble round at the Foxes when Denise returns from her honeymoon to learn that daughter Libby, formerly known as Squiggle, has been arrested for attempting to sell a stolen CD player. She suspects that new boyfriend Darren might be to blame. With England shortly to become a no smoking zone, Dot or Fag Ash Lil as she's known to her friends promises to kick the habit. Not because of some law imposed by the nanny state but for the sake of the health of little George, the illegal immigrant's baby she snatched.

The mother of the bride in Emmerdale (ITV1) is telling tales. Val Lambert is dressed as Cleopatra, the Egyptian queen, at the time so perhaps we shouldn't blame her. She's dolled up for daughter Sharon's tacky wedding, an event that makes the over-the-top weddings in Footballers' Wives look like register office ceremonies.

Val uses the middle of the wedding ceremony to inform the bride that her footballer husband-to-be is about to be given the boot by his club and won't be worth a penny. Sharon's dreams of WAG-dom swiftly vanish.

One wedding and a funeral in Emmerdale. Len's funeral. When Edna turns up at the graveside, Len's intended Pearl is none too pleased. She told Edna to stay away and, seeing she's been disobeyed, gives Edna a slap round the chops. Pearl's upset because Len declared his love for Edna shortly before he left for the soap cemetery in the sky.

Claire Peacock is arrested in Coronation Street (ITV1) and not before time if you ask me. I'm fed up with her whining and don't know how Ashley stands it. Her crime is arson and abandoning her baby after Freddie was found alone in the park after the towering inferno at the Peacock house.

Put a woman behind a bar with a pint glass in her hand and men can't resist her. Just ask Liz McDonald. The Rovers landlady has two men panting at her feet. Her affair with Derek is rumbled by his wife so it doesn't look like Liz's boyfriend Vernon will remain in ignorance of her betrayal much longer.

Just as they're getting passionate at Derek's place, the phone rings and it's Linda. "Hang on a minute, luv," he tells her, ""I'm just having sex with another woman, can you give me a minute or two and then ring back." He always was a fast worker.