COMEDIANS always used to make jokes about mother-in-laws, in the days before political correctness took over. But Robert Sugden, newly-returned to Emmerdale (ITV1), has a few unkind words to say about his future father-in-law, latest lord of the manor Lawrence Wright. And he’s not joking.

Lawrence, who dislikes him, is doing everything in his power to dissuade him from marrying his daughter, Chrissie. Like giving the job of estate manager to Nicola rather than Robert who’s livid about the decision, angrier than all 12 men in that courtroom drama.

So, he plots revenge which some may consider a bit extreme after an extended visit to the Woolpack pub. While he’s there, car thieves Ross and Aaron are at work – stealing cars. They spot Robert’s flash car and decide to strip it of its expensive, shiny parts. But they are to crime what Inspector Clouseau is to detection and are caught in the act by Robert.

The cunning chap doesn’t call the police, but enlists their help in getting back at Lawrence by ordering them to rob Home Farm. At least they look the part as they pull balaclavas over their faces and carry out the heist. Oops! Lawrence is at home at Home Farm so they give him a good wallop on the head. Ooops again! Chrissie returns home and finds herself face-to-face with the robbers.

Let’s move on to murder. Belle Dingle is out after serving time for accidentally killing her best friend, but finding life on the outside hard-going. Her family is pleased to see her, but nobody else is. She’s had words with schoolmate Gabby and the Dingles' home has been daubed with graffiti. Now, she’s off to a new school with neighbour Lachlan, who promises to keep her secret. Some hope in a place as gossip-ridden as Emmerdale.

Talking of murder, Surely Shirley shot Fill the Fug not long ago in EastEnders (BBC1). She went on the run after pulling a gun on him. Now she’s back, if a little unwillingly. Mick and Dean go looking for her to give her the news that dad Stan is terminally ill. They discover her hiding out in Aunt Babe’s caravan and when Surely Shirley tells them to please go away (but not quite so politely), they hitch the caravan to Mick’s motor and tow her back to Albert Square. Who’s the first person she sees when she opens the door? Why Fill, of course.

Talk about awkward – a word that might also be applied to the behaviour of his son, Ben, (coincidentally, another Soapland resident recently released from prison for killing Big Hev). Ben is gay, but is keen to like girls because that’s what Mitchell boys do. So, after flirting with Johnny and getting in a fight, he tries a bit of the other. He snogs Abi. And she likes it. But does it ring Big Ben’s bell?

Silly Sally has man trouble too in Coronation Street (ITV1). She’s behaving sillier than usual after coming to the conclusion, based on the flimsiest of evidence, that her man Tim is having an affair with Anna. She sees them sitting close, laughing and joking. When he tells her one night he has to nip out for a bit, she thinks she knows exactly what he’s having a bit of.

What she doesn’t know is that Anna is giving Tim reading lessons. Sally doesn’t wait to hear the explanation, stomping back home and throwing his belongings out of the window on to the cobbles.