WE all know that Annie got her gun. Now it’s the turn of Adam in Emmerdale (ITV1) and Da-Do-Ron- Ronnie in EastEnders (BBC1). Soapland is becoming more like America every day. Soon the High Sheriff will be strapping on his gun holster and cleaning up the town before you can say “Stick em up”.

Some may consider Adam has just cause to feel miffed as he’s just learned his mother slept with his father’s brother, that his father isn’t his father, that his sisters aren’t his sisters, and Father Christmas doesn’t exist.

Needless to say the skeletons come tumbling out of the closet (shut that door someone before something else nasty is revealed) during a Barton family celebration.

An old videotape screened by birthday boy Finn triggers it off. As well as footage of the Barton brothers, the tape features James Barton and his late wife Emma arguing over the fact that he’s slept with McMoira, his late brother’s wife. So far, so bad. McMoira’s brooding son Adam gives James a good thumping but that’s not the end of it. Her latest husband Cain demands the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

He wishes he hadn’t asked when McMoira admits the one night stand resulted in Adam, who doesn’t much like James and doesn’t want to call his dad. He grabs a shotgun and disappears into the woods.In EastEnders (BBC1) Da-Do-Ron-Ronnie has also armed herself. She’s been a bit doolally since being released from prison and her relationship with on-off boyfriend Charlie isn’t going anywhere in a hurry. Fill the Fug, a man not unacquainted with violence, wants to know why she’s armed and dangerous. He once got on the wrong end of a gun thanks to Loopy Lisa so knows they’re not toys.

Discovering that Da-Do-Ron-Ronnie has a gun, Fill worries for her as well as everybody else’s safety. She’s already got rid of Carl (permanently – she killed him) but is reluctant to reveal who she’s gunning for now.

Mick of the Vic has other things on his mind.He has a phobia of water which makes agreeing to take part in a sponsored swim a pretty silly thing to do. His fear stems from nearly drowning in the bath as a child when apparently his mother Surely Shirley, who’s been posing as his sister, tried to drown him during a breakdown.

Mick gets as far as the local swimming pool changing room before breaking out in a cold sweat and dashing home. Peter Barlow turns up drunk for Temptress Tina’s funeral.

He’s not the most popular man in Weatherfield anyway and when David spots him at the back of the church, he tells everyone Tina would still be around if it wasn’t for Peter.

Outside, he tries to talk to estranged wife Carla at the graveside. A fight with her brother Rob – the real killer – breaks out, making this a typical Weatherfield funeral. No-one is allowed to rest in peace in Soapland.