JAI probably can’t believe his luck in Emmerdale (ITV1). He’s on the point of confessing to wife Charity that he’s the secret father of Rachel’s baby, Archie, when Charity fesses up to having a one-night stand with Declan.

Why spoil the moment, he reckons, and decides to keep quiet and let Charity feel guilty about her indiscretion. For good measure, he goes round to Home Farm and gives Declan a good slap. I suspect Charity will give Jai more than a slap when – and have no doubt, she will find out eventually – she discovers who’s the daddy.

Fatboy and Poppy in EastEnders (BBC1) haven’t got round to a family yet. They’re still in the first flush of young love – until someone pulls the chain and they’re showered in ... well, you get the picture, as unpleasant as it is.

But their love is no flash in the pain.

Their romance is blossoming like flowers in the spring although they’d better watch out for a late frost. Or their landlady, Dot Cotton, as she’s called. She’s the third person in their relationship but, happily, not their bed.

The lovebirds are saving up to move into a place of their own (perhaps this week’s Budget will help them out).

Poppy goes to an auction and buys a pair of lost luggage suitcases which, on the face of it, doesn’t seem a very wise choice – until she discovers an expensive watch in the lining. Not quite enough for a mortgage, I’d suggest.

There’s a reunion of sorts elsewhere in Walford, although it’s a sad occasion – the anniversary of Big Hevver’s death – that brings them together.

Abi tries to persuade boyfriend Jay and Fill the Fug to kiss and make up.

Well, not actually snog and put on lipstick but something like being civil to each other instead of snarling and making grunting noises.

Jay’s struggling because of his role in the death (he helped Evil Ben cover up the crime) and Fill did much the same thing to shield Evil Ben. Finally, the pair have a man-to-man chat and it’s not about Walford United being knocked out of the East End first division.

And so to Coronation Street (ITV1) where, just like that tram the other year, young Chesney goes off the rails.

Who can blame him? Fiancee Katy did the dirty on him with Randy Ryan and the couple split up which means Ches doesn’t get to see his bairn, Joseph, very much. So he decides to go round to see his son but he (Ches not Joseph) has had a bit too much booze and Katy doesn’t want him breathing alcoholic fumes over the poor tot.