This summer the Department for Work and Pensions investigators were asked for the strangest excuses they have heard from benefit fraudsters.

Here are some of the best:

  •  A Disability Living Allowance claimant from the North-East asked why she claimed she was incapable of cleaning her own house when she was a full-time bus cleaner said: ''By the time I come in from work, I'm that knackered."
  • A claimant in West Lothian tried to explain her reason for falsely claiming: ''I needed the money to pay for TV in each of the five bedrooms, as the kids have ADHT, and I have to keep them in.'' She failed to mention the children no longer lived with her.
  • A Glasgow claimant tried to explain excessive income: ''Any wages under £200 are mine but any over £200 must belong to someone else.''
  • A Bilston claimant questioned about a living together fraud: ''I don't know why you're interviewing me, I'm bisexual!''
  • In Liverpool a claimant insisted she didn't have a relationship with a man who stayed most nights in a week. When it was pointed out that they had three children together in a five-year period, she said: ''We're all entitled to a one night stand aren't we?'' She was again reminded that there are three children. Her answer: ''Well a three-night stand then.'' 
  • A claimant from Worcester tried to say: ''It's not my partner, it's my sister.'' When the investigator held up their wedding certificate, he replied: ''That was a drunken mistake.''
  • A man interviewed in Folkestone regarding failing to declare his night-watchman job said: ''I only claim benefits during the day - what I do at night is my own business.''
  • Another claimant from Folkestone was interviewed regarding failing to declare her partner: ''He doesn't live here, he just comes every morning to collect his sandwiches and kiss me good morning before going to work.''
  • A woman, when asked why her husband's belongings were in a wardrobe in her Highgate bedroom, after failing to mention a partner in her benefit claim, said: ''It's a spare wardrobe. I never look in a spare wardrobe.'' She pleaded guilty in court and was given a community work order for 12 months.
  • A Gloucester jobseeker filled in his application form and said he didn't have a partner living with him: His excuse: ''It's her property so she doesn't live with me, I live with her.''
  • In an identity fraud trial, the alleged fraudster from London claimed she was a white female depicted in photos even though her skin colour was black and suggesting her face had changed shape following a car crash.
  • ''We're not living together. The baby has his surname because my great grandmother and his great grandfather were married.''
  • ''You have me confused with my evil twin brother. He lives in Pakistan and visits the UK regularly.'' He had two Pakistani passports, one in his own name and the other in the identity of his 'twin'. Both passports listed all his own children. ''My brother has children born on the same dates with the same names,'' said a claimant from Glasgow.
  • "I didn't tell you about my private pension because it's private.''
  • ''It's Christmas so I should be able to keep the extra money.''